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Seed's Sketchy Relationship Theories - CHAPTER 1 |
by:
Lindsay Wincherauk |
The following is a portion of the first Chapter of Seed’s Sketchy Relationship Theories - A Guide to the Perils of Dating (How not to become a bar regular).
The book is described as:
"...a funny, raw, passionate, original and somewhat controversial look at the world, life, love and relationships. Seed tackles the most serious issues facing us in our world of relationships today with his unique sense of humor. The message is positive and simple: Take Stock of your life and start living."
Seed (aka Lindsay Wincherauk) is a relationship expert and is described as:
"...a lot like James Bond. No one man can personify the true depth of Seed. In a way Seed is the "Exception". He does not march to the same drum as the masses. He charts his own course, makes his own mistakes and is solely responsible for his successes. Well, maybe not solely..."
He has been featured on major radio stations, writes a weekly column for a London based website: http://wwww.been-dumped.com and has been featured several times in 24 Hours Vancouver.
Enjoy the excerpts.
SEED’S SKETCHY RELATIONSHIP THEORIES
A GUIDE TO THE PERILS OF DATING
(HOW NOT TO BECOME A BAR REGULAR)
What The First Readers Are Saying:
“This is one of the greatest literary works of the century. I believe it will save a lot of troubled relationships. I know if I had only received this wealth of information sooner, I would still be alive on the inside.”
- Bill (a broken bar regular in Chicago)
“I read this book cover to cover several times and each and every time I was actually riveted by the sheer passion and intensity. Every time I would rush home and give Harry a little something, something to show how I really feel about him. I knew Seed was gifted when I read his early work and actually I believe I am responsible for a great deal of the success he is receiving now. I made him who he is today.”
- Mrs. Grant (Seed’s grade 5 English teacher)
“Who’s Harry?”
- Tom (Mrs. Grant’s husband)
“Hey!!! You cut me off jerk.”
- Dick (an angry motorist)
“Well it took me a while but I finally was given the time to read it and it is GOOD! An entertaining read with realistic, useful information. My favorite line is: They have their own bars… why can’t they have their own book? You have a winner here and now is time to unleash it on the world whether they can handle it or not.”
- W
“I really like the paper.”
- Pepe (a blind panhandler)
“I am not lying Marge. I am just writing fiction with my mouth.”
- Homer Simpson
“I must commend Seed. He has tackled a very tough subject matter and spared the fluff that most books on relationships inflict upon us. He has shared big parts of his life to give the reader an understanding of where a lot of his knowledge comes from. It is very refreshing to see that he never held back on his opinions. He seems to say what everyone else seems to be afraid of saying and he talks from the heart. The book is laced with deep thoughts and yet it is filled with original comedy to keep it light and fresh to read. If you read it with an open heart and an open mind, Seed provides a very powerful positive message. I highly recommend this book to anyone trying to sort out their personal relationships or for those who simply want a good laugh. It is rare but Seed provides us with both. I wish him great success.”
- David (typesetter for a large printing company)
“Welcome to The Burger Barn. Can I take your order?”
- the seed.
CHAPTER 1
Opening Rant
“Promise Yourself:
To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all of your friends feel that there is something special in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and let your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best and expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements of the future
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble!”
-Christian D. Larson
[…….]Never has there been a time in the short history of modern mankind where there has been so much uncertainty[……..]
[……]At the present time the world media is controlled by a few people resulting in a situation where you have to ask: Can we really trust the information that we are being fed?
If you turn on the news, it is just one tragedy after another, most of the stories create a scenario where leaving your own home seems like a risky venture. Just think about it. On any particular day you can read about Hurricanes, Snipers, Al Qaeda, Aids, SARS, the West Nile Virus, Ebola, Mad Cow Disease, the Avian Flu and [………]
[……]Technology is rapidly going out of control. No one can keep up with the daily advances that are taking place. It was not that long ago when the party line was still in use in rural communities. These advances are causing the gap between the rich and poor to become even greater with the middle class quickly becoming eroded.
Never has there been a time when huge companies are failing overnight with the ramifications to the stock markets being so extreme. Big-time managers, however, though their companies are broke, still keep their villas and “earn” enormous bonuses. The investors are left holding the bag.
Our weather appears to be changing dramatically. We have global warming caused supposedly by the greenhouse effect. There is El Nino, La Nina and whatever other supposed phenomena affecting the Earth’s climate. One must ask if this is naturally caused or controlled by man. Or, is man simply too stupid to see that acre after acre of rainforest is not worth obliterating in order to raise cattle for fast food chains.
Have you noticed that the “flood of the century” seems to come every few years? Hurricanes, typhoons and tornados are commonplace. Droughts, mild winters no big surprise. Have you ever stopped to think why this is so? Interesting things to ponder…
If one is to believe the Mayan calendar, this is all starting to happen for a reason and on December 21, 2012 things will become clear.
There are different theories on what may happen on this day. Standard thought is that the world is starting to go through a transformation of sorts – or one big correction as we start to go into the next cycle in the history and evolution of mankind. The dramatic events that are taking place now are sort of a weeding out of evil. When this above-mentioned date comes along, those of us who adjust or transform (basically get it), will have a chance to move forward into a better, more evolved earth. We are not promoting this belief but just saying that it is definitely food for thought.
On the one hand, you can have a world filled with war, hatred, fear, tragedy, racism and crime. No wonder relationships are struggling and the divorce rate is so high. We are living in a world of “me” time. Everyone seems to have stopped thinking of others and just looks at what is best for themselves.
How many different types of rage have been diagnosed over the last few years – the world needs really to slow down. Life is moving too fast. Everything is not that important. We need to get back to a day where we say “Hi” to our neighbors instead of fearing them. We are all in the same ball game together.
On the other hand, it's not all bad: I'm happy, in fact, I'm individually optimistic, yet, globally pessimistic.
Can we change the course of things to come?
I don't know.
We've messed it up pretty bad.
Just think about it for a moment. The family unit is in a state of crisis; the institution of marriage may be failing.
I suggest in the future for those of you walking down the aisle could you please uncross your fingers and take your tongue out of your cheek. You're only screwing up your kids and, in turn, our world.
If everyone actually meant, "till death do us part," the divorce rate may only be 20 - 25 per cent resulting in:
At least a 50 per cent reduction in unwanted children, in turn resulting in:
A smaller global population, in turn resulting in:
Less consumption, in turn resulting in: HOPE!
Wait a second, if that was the equation. I might not exist.
We have certainly left one messed up world for the next generation to try to fix. It's too bad that most of them come from broken homes. How are they going to fix the world, when they can't even fix themselves?
How do we implement these changes?
First off, we can turn off the news and start looking at things positively. As hard as it may be, we can all try to be aware of our emotions and no matter how hard it is, only be positive about things. We are all in a way being controlled or at least influenced by the media. So, shut off the TV for a minute and think. A shuttle tragedy, though a horrific event, does not warrant a lot of discussion by the average person, unless you have family members involved or you work at NASA. It can only create more despair, fear and negativity in the average man. A 100-car pileup on the Interstate does not need to be discussed, though tragic it is not positive, it does not warrant much time unless you are directly affected or on the safety committees that help to design highways. We know this sounds cold and our hearts go out to those who have lost loved ones, but the world is challenging enough just caring and looking out for those who are in our lives. If we are also being filled with the pain of people we don’t know and have nothing to do with, how are we ever going to find peace and happiness? […….]
- excerpts from Chapter 1 Opening Rant of: Seed’s Sketchy Relationship Theories - A Guide to the Perils of Dating (How not to become a bar regular). To read Chapter 1 in its entirety visit:
http://seedenterprises.blogspot.com/2005/09/seeds-sketchy-relationship-theories_26.html
For further information visit: http://www.seedenterprises.com
This article is free for republishing
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Authors Bio:
Lindsay Wincherauk (aka: the seed) is an aspiring author, photographer, entrepreneur and comic. Over the last several years he has discovered his passion: writing and photography. He loves formulating new ideas and images. He is driven by life and feels life is meant to be lived to the fullest. He takes his inspiration from life’s challenges and believes that we need to look at life from different angles to see the true beauty in things. His work captures individual beauty. He believes that life is best lived in the “moment” and that if you open your mind and eyes to the possibilities, you may discover greatness.
He has traveled to 18 different countries, has been a Best Man 6 times, a Pallbearer 3 times, and he is a Godfather. He has hung out with Rastafarians, Russians, Clowns and Drag Queens. He feels it is vitally important to embrace differences. He has co-authored one book and has two more in the works, which will be released in the not-too-distant future.
Lindsay attended the University of Saskatchewan and now resides in Vancouver, British Columbia.
For more information on the Seed and his first book Seed's Sketchy Relationship Theories - A Guide to the Perils of Dating (How not to become a bar regular) please visit:
http://www.seedenterprises.com
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